I have been very busy, though I have somehow managed to see Watchmen five times. I still plan to see it again. It is a film that requires multiple veiwings, in my opinion. And some of the acting just totally astounds me, particularly from Billy Cruddup and Jackie Earle Haley. Oh, Rorschach, I bow down to you...

Schedules at work are being shifted all over the place. Two guards have left, one is on medical leave, and several others are taking vacation for Spring Break. Hopefully in a couple of weeks we will be fully adjusted. My only plans for Spring Break are to clean my apartment and finish my screenplay. I have to finish it. I love thinking about writing "Fade Out". But I have a few dozen pages to go yet.

Just rolling with the punches, I guess. Graduation is nearing. Even though I know I will make it there with no worries, I do sometimes have the sudden fear of failing. That probably happens to everyone. Right now I just feel kind of empty. I'm just doing what I have to do. It will be nice taking a break this summer.

I need to vent.

Since my usual Kane-themed corner to hang out in on the web is on hiatus, I've been visitng KaneFanatics.com instead. The webmistress, Kandy, is a wonderful person, and the site is an excellent example of what a fansite should be. HOWEVER - everyone on the forum is driving me crazy! Now Kandy is trying to start a petition to make sure Kane doesn't get fired, complaining that he jobs other wrestlers too often. There has also been a lot of talk about "the good old days" and wishes for a return of the mask.

How naive can you get? What the hell is going on with this lack of faith in Kane? I thought they were fans! And they are worried that he is such a bottom-rung character that he'll get fired because of a strained economy? WTF! Firing Kane would be like firing John Cena. WWE is simply not going to do it. He has been working with them forever and no matter how much or how little merchandise he sells, he is a pivotal character for the whole franchise simply because he is the Big Red Monster, he will job to other wrestlers, and continue to reign as a background heel force until WWE needs a storyline with a bit more drama than usual. Kane is their Ace in the hole. For Gods' sakes, a true fan would just love Kane for Kane, not for his storylines (or the lack of one).

Of course I would be pissed if Kane by chance did get fired, but I would bet a thousand dollars it won't happen. Not unless WWE is going out of business and calling for bankruptcy - and I don't see that happening any time soon. But even if it does happen, I trust that Mr. Jacobs would find another endeavor for his incredible work ethic. And I will always be a fan of Kane, just as I will always be a fan of Undertaker.

Speaking of Undertaker, I will also say that I don't believe any rumors of his retiring. I haven't believed them for years and I refuse to believe them until I see it on screen. In my opinion, that man has years left before he'll hang up the boots for good. But when that time does come, and eventually it will (though I hope I get to see him live one more time before then), I will cheer for him in whatever else he puts his mind to. Of course I will be relatively depressed when it happens, but I'm not going to bitch and moan, and I am not going to antagonize the company for letting him go. I will simply be a true fan and wish him well.

Fans should absolutely never complain about any decisions Mr. Jacobs or Mr. Calaway (or any other wreslter) decides to make about his career. Fans should only support. If Kane wants to job to other wrestlers (word is that it is his decision), then I will support that decision. If Undertaker wants to retire in six months, I will support that decision.

That is a true fan.

I am so restless, ready for classes to begin again.

January 11th = Ten Years. I am flipping out.

I had to start a blogspot for my English Lit. class. I haven't had a real blog besides Xanga before... I like the change, but Xanga has come too far with me. I will never abandon you.   Blogs are a funny thing though. I almost wonder if my little corner here lives up to the definition of "blog". After all, I'm not very political and my posts are random at best. I don't know how someone could keep a blog specifically for one subject, i.e. politics, pets, cooking, etc. Why not lay it all out on one site?

Then again, all-around blogs are so... revealing. It scares me sometimes that someone could find this blog and read all the good and bad things about me, even the stupid crap from way back in the beginning. I've grown up a lot since then, but some things never change. When I start applying for an actual career job in a couple of years, I'll have to try burying a lot of these places (Xanga, Facebook, MySpace) in privacy settings. That is why I've been striving to create a "professional" blog-like thing for future employers to find. Hopefully the new blogspot can do that for me.

I am absolutely astounded with Legend of the Seeker. I was so looking forward to the live-action version of everyone's favorite Sword of Truth series. Now it is completely destroyed. I am usually very open to writers and directors twisting the story here and there - no adaption can stay strictly with canon. But honestly, they have just taken the first book's premise and made it utterly ridiculous. I bet only two or three episodes in the entire series are actually based on something in the book. The whole tone isn't right and the characters aren't three-demensional at all. I would have rather seen a movie based on a severly gutted book than have this pitiful series making up B stories that were only created to round out the characters - and even that doesn't seem to be working.

This is all just my opinion, of course. And I admit that it is a stilted opinion, particularly since I haven't been able to stomach a full episode yet. Someone could argue that I haven't given it the time to ensnare my attention, but honestly, if I'm bored watching twenty minutes, I'll be bored with an hour. I would say that better screenwriters next season could help a great deal, but I don't think it will see Season Two. (Or at least I can hope.)

Life has been so busy. This is this most complicated schedule I think I have ever tried to keep up with - working nights, taking both morning and evening classes on the same day, participating in groups and school functions... I barely have time for myself these days. It amazes me that I have managed to keep up with work and school. My limits are a lot further than I had thought, and that makes me feel more accomplished and confident. If I had time to feel those things, that is.

I spent this past weekend at Roman Nose State Park. The weather was wonderful and it was a very relaxing environment. Around three in the morning on our last night, a horse wandered into our campground. He was absolutely stunning in the moonlight and tame enough that I was able to walk with him and pet him. That is now a very calm, pleasant, and peaceful memory that I will always treasure.

Samhain approaches. The veil is thinning and today I can really feel the change. I feel more aware, more attuned to the subtle energies that emerge as the nights grow longer. This is my favorite season. My place is in the deep, deep dark. It is my natural habitat. Although I respect all of the seasons and the Sabbats for what they have to show and teach us, it is this time of year that speaks to me most clearly.

I know that I am about to experience a lot of changes soon. In the summer I will be moving yet again. I will be graduating with a Bachelor's Degree in Creative Studies. Then I will start graduate school for my Master's Degree. Between then and now, I will have several opportunities for awards and accomplishing certain goals I have set for myself recently. My mind still cannot comprehend the idea of graduating. I feel like I still just graduated high school. To be this close to finishing college seems unreal. My whole life has been focused on that single priority - to finish college and get a degree, whatever it may be. It might be time to start shifting my energy to future prospects, such as finding a job in the publishing industry, and eventually become published myself.

Updates may be slow in posting, but I am determined to keep this little niche running. This silly Xanga blog has recorded the past five years of my life - the good and the bad, the things I am proud of and the things I am embarrassed to leave here (but I will anyway). It is my best-kept journal, whether I want to admit it or not. So until then...